It's time

Today I have realized it is time to move to the next level. I have been in the same place for so long. I have experienced so much over the last 12 months. Many highs and lows. The highs have been very high and lows have been underneath the dirt. I am thankful for every extreme. I love the man I am becoming. I am desiring so much right now. My desire to completely sell out to the Father. I want to be the best man I can be. I want to be the best father I can be. I want to be the best servant of God. I look over my life and all of my short comings and I realize they have mad me into the man that I am today. I want love the person that I am become. At times I don't recognize myself in the mirror. That is crazy because sometimes it is good and both bad. Its crazy that I started writing this almost a year ago. This is the apointed time and season. God I am thankful for this tonight.

OMG

Praise God!!! I am in a very weird place this morning. Lord have mercy. I have realized the journey in which I must take. I am sitting here and I realize why I am there person I am. I realize why I have been this way my whole life. I have realized by internal struggles were for Gods glory. I have always struggled with the voice in my head. Not truly knowing it was the voice of God. Its amazing how today I am 28 years old and I realize the person God has created me for. I am scared to really see the person I am going to become. I realize I am going to have to spend more and more time with God. I seen for the 2nd time(which both have been in the last month) in my life that I have potential to be a great man of God. I am beginning to see clearer. I am looking for greatness in God. I keep hearing "greater works shall ye do". I am ready to see the greater works. I am thankful for the mighty men of God in my life. I want to say I truly love ya'll. Roman.. Whoa!! Tae my empowered brother. Devain my determined brother. Tarrio my persistent brother. Reese my faith filled brother. I love the boys. I see the great things God is doing with them and for them. Brothers the best is yet to come. I don't know any group of young men that are powerhouses in God all in the same place. World watch out for these brothers. If you come into contact with these brothers your life will never be the same. I keep trying to get to last night. I just want to see God in a new light today. I wake to go beyond the veil today. The holy of holies. I want to be like Moses and see God unlike anyone else. Moses seen God's back. I want to see his hand stretched out before me. Ok I think I am ready for service last night now. OK the whole week I had been down about services from last week all week. It just I felt like something was wrong and I couldn't understand it. But thanks to my brother I did. Yesterday I was determined to not let what happened last week happen this week. I went there in prayer mode. Like God you got to move tonight. I got to church on time praise the Lord. lol.. When I got there the Pastor was praying!!! I was really not paying to much attention to him yet I knew in my spirit he was setting the atmosphere for service. When service began it was pretty God. All of a sudden the praises began to go forth. I was sitting there like ok God I see you. When people began to testify the began to praise God. I was like ok God when the atmosphere is set people have no choice but to praise you. I listen to the testimonies of how God has healed people. I began to truly be thankful. I just wanted to praise God. I hadn't shouted seem like in forever. I was determined to dance before my God. For the great things that he was going to do. I determined in my mind that this was going to be a great night!! I began to praise God as I was going so I feeling to pull to pray. I began to pray and rebuke whatever was there last week. I began to pray the God loose somethings. I begin to pray for freedom in him. I began to pray!!!! I was tried of feeling stuck in the same place. OK I think I can talk for ever and ever. OK so the pastor was trying to dismiss at about 10 something. He asked for remarks. At this moment I am hearing the voice of God. Telling me to say something. I am like God I cant do this. God why me? Lord I don't have the strength to do this. So I raised my hand for remarks. I began to speak under the unction of the Holy Ghost. Crazy isn't it. me Jayte!! lol.. But yes. I began to speak and it was becoming overwhelming. I gave the microphone back. I begin to praise God with my mind saying wow!!! When I got back to my seat. A mighty woman of God said you're not finished. I was really like blown. I know there was more to say. I went and began to minister to someone. I am like gone at this point. I am really gone at this point because of my struggle before I got up and spoke. Then after I spoke I began to question the word of God. God what if you don't do this. God what if we never hear the testimony. Lord what is the testimony happens 80 years from now. Then I remember ok God I must trust you. I am hearing God say so many things at this point. Then there was a prayer session when 2 were filled with the Holy Ghost. One. I have been waiting one for about 5 years. I already knew he had the Holy Ghost but he needed to know for his self. I am thankful for the manifestation. This is only a recap of my experiences from last night...

Vunerable

Happy Sabbath to All!!! I am sitting here feeling very venerable. I feel so sad. Why I am not really sure. But I am. I am sitting here and my mind is just running. About everything. Today I feel alone. I can be in the crowd of 5 million and can still be alone. Sometimes I don't even feel God is with me. That is when I am really feeling down. I had such great expectations for today but they have been overshadowed by fear and confusion. I have been in this place before. I really and truly don't understand why I feel this way. As I am sitting here writing this I feel like I just want to cry. Last night church was really good. My little brother gave a word truly from God. I am so thankful for that. Last night I went and put Jaala in the bed and pray with her. Before I actually started praying for her she said, "Can you put the oil in my hands?" I was like wow!! God I thank you. I asked her to give God thanks for something(pray)! She said Lord I thank you for my life & my family! I thank God for my healing my body. It was a few other things but that was the most important thing. I began to pray for her and I prayed for her eczema. God had spoken to me months ago. "If I can heal leprosy do you think that I can't heal eczema?" I was like ok God I hear you and believe you. I began to cry. I began to speak over her as if I was not going to be here tomorrow. I began to speak into her life about prayer. I began to speak into her life about know God for yourself. When I finished praying she said "Daddy why are you crying?" I said to her because I believe God for your healing and I know that God is going to heal your body and mostly that I trust God. I woke up this morning not sad, depressed, angry or thankful I just woke up. I began to think about all of the hurt that I have in my life. I began to think of all kind of unsettled issues. I began to talk to God. I just want to feel free this morning, I want to be free to be who god has called me to be. I know this is a distraction that I may not fulfil purpose today. I am trying to get these thoughts out so I can be free. I am not lingering in the hurt like I would really want to. I could lay in the bed and cry all day. I can sit here and think of all the things that I don't have. But and few months ago God began to deal with me about my focus. God began to "see Me in every situation". Today I see job in spite of my flesh (that is hurting like crazy) I can see this is a place God wants me to be so He can deal with me. So I am going to decree and declare some things right now!

*I decree that I am the healed of the Lord
*I declare I am the righteousness of God
*I decree a great blessing from God today
*I declare God is going to touch my finances
*I declare the blessings of God this morning
*I decree peace in my life
*I decree understanding in my life
*I declare my hurt and pain in God and now filled with the love of God.
*I decree a Word today from only you God.
*I declare the unexpected


Now I am going to say to God. TAKE THIS AWAY FROM ME! GOD YOU KNOW THIS THING THAT PLAGUES MY HEART MY MIND AND MY BODY!!! I NEED YOU TO DO THIS TODAY!! I CANT MAKE IT WOULD IT!!! THIS IS MY CRY FOR HELP!!! GOD I THANK YOU AND PRAISE YOU IN ADVANCE FOR IT ALL!!!!!

Am I Sitting on a Hill???

A city that set on a hill cannot be hid(Matthew 5:14). Is that light that you are shinning sitting on a hill or deep in the valley. I been doing so much soul searching these days. My heart, my mind and my spirit longs to be like Christ. I am gaining more knowledge of who I am. I am learning even more about the Word of God. I am learning how to apply God's words in my life each and everyday.

So often many of say that we are "Christians". I am beginning to dislike that word so much. It has become such a regular word that carries no weight. People say that I am a "Christian" and actions do not follow. We all can talk a good game. I have heard my entire life that Hallelujah was the highest praise. I believed that be true for so long. One day I heard a very wise Bishop say. That is the highest word of praise but your lifestyle is your highest praise. It didn't make sense to me at the time. Now I so understand everything he was saying. Bitter and Sweet waters can not flow out of the same fountain and A double minded man is unstable in all his ways are two scriptures that I have read so and had so many conversations about. But now its has become real to me. I believe that going to church and "serving" God has become a ritual. Its the right thing to do. That is such a sad way to feel and think. I have been in this same situation myself. I am not judging anyone. I have learned that serving God is a process and well as not serving God is as well.

I so love Facebook. It really shows you what is in peoples heart. One moment that are speaking the Word of God with all power and authority. Their very next post they are talking about getting drunk, or cursing, like a sailor, or just venting about their current hurt. During these moments is where people see what is in your heart. I know that people need to vent and may need an outlet however that is not the place. Take your burdens to the Lord and leave them there. Every action that you make in your life will effect/affect someone else in your life. Its so crazy to me how we are Sabbath and Sunday Christians. Monday thru Friday you just live any kind of life. You say whatever you want to say. *this is experience speaking*. I understand this and I am learning to walk in a higher place. I am encouraging each of you to walk in a higher place. At some point in your journey you must outgrow some people and some situations. Its some people in our lives that we cant do certain things with. Not that is wrong but we never want to jeopardize that "christian view" that they have of you.

Be very mindful of the things that you say and do. Be sure that the life that you are living glorifies God. I think this may the COG theme scriputre " 1 Thessalonians 5:22 Abstain from all appearance of evil. Now this is real talk right here. Just be mindful of the things that you say and do. Its hard to change people's view points of you once it has been lost....

Love you all,

Jayte

Rebound friends Revealed

It use to hurt so much when my friends weren't there for me the way that I thought or felt that they should. So often I would cry because I felt they didn't care about me. That couldn't be further from the truth. God show me just how much the love and and depend on me.
God revealed this to me just this week. Have you ever noticed the parralel be the spirit realm and the temporal. Quite often we don't go to God until there is a need. (I am guilty of that as well-not throwing stone)I wonder if it hurts God's feelings. But we go to Him when our back is against the wall. Thankfully we did(finally) go to God. He knows that we know that He can meet all of our needs and he is there waiting patiently for us to realize that. This is no difference than out natural friends. They come to you when they want a need to be met. They choose specifically who to go to when there is a need. But what happens is every now and then your need is not met. Why is that I ask myself does this happen. Because we have not secured our relationship with God or our relationship with our friends. God is teaching us that we need to depend on him consistently. He wants to fortify the true essence of the relationship. The true essence of our relationship is trust. That is the same thing that our natural friendships lack. So I am learning to trust God. I don't want to be a rebound friend of God. I want to be a true friend to God where I am His friend and He is mine.. God I don't want be my rebound friend anymore. In you word you called me friend (John 15:14) I love u God...

Friendship may not last but Purpose does!!!

I been thinking a lot lately about the people that God has placed in my life. I was say that God has placed each one of them in my life for a specific reason. I know that the God that I serve is strategic when doing any and everything. God has strategically placed 5 people in my life. I will list them all by name because its my blog(haha).

I will name Olivia first because she is my best friend. I owe a lot of who I am to her. As do I owe the same thing to everyone else I will mention but Olivia is special because she is my wife, mother of my children, and my spiritual partner. There are so many things that I could have added to the list of why she is special But those are the most important. She has taught me some very important things in my life. The most important thing that she has taught me is to believe in myself. I will forever be grateful for her in this regard. I love you!!!

When I name the next set of people it is not in any particular order.

Marcia has been placed in my life to teach me that because you have had a hurtful past you can make it. She has taught me how to push through life's circumstances. She is very special to me. We share so much in common. We have been a shoulder to each other for years. I heard someone say if you can see someone at your mother's funeral you really love them. Cia, I can truly say I can see you. Thanks

Maurice! (I have no idea why I put that exclamation point there but I wanted it there....lol) You have taught me to be a friend to people. You have taught me that no matter what you go through you can be forgiven and restored. You have taught me to stand. You have mainly taught me how to trust God in every area of my life.

Marva you have been in my life the least amount of time. You have taught me one of the most important things in life. You have taught my to stay focused. You have showed me to get the where I need I will need to be determined and to have tough skin. People may never understand you or I but God understands us both. That is the encouragement that I need and have everyday of my life.

Arteya you have taught my be consistent. You have taught me to believe in purpose. You have believed in me. That is so amazing. I never truly felt accepted in life until you and your family took me in as your own. The message you gave to me to help other when they need it. I am truly thanks for that. You have also taught me to when people mess up to forgive them(I am still working on this one).

I am so blessed to have each and everyone of you in my life. You all have help to usher me into my destiny. I am going be great in God. I am only because of you. I am thankful for that. I sat down and thought about each one of you this morning. I want to tell each of you that I love you. No matter what happens in you temporal lives. Ya'll have help my to begin to fulfil purpose. Our friendships could end tomorrow but the things you have given me will last a lifetime. No matter where life takes me you all will be there with me in my hearts!!! LOVE YA!!!!

Friendships may not last but Purpose does!!!

J.T. vs Jayte

I thought about this this morning and I decided to put all my thoughts down for someone to possibly read. IF not its cool. I have recently learned that God has a great purpose for me. I think I always knew it but I was afraid to really accept it. It was crazy that always had dreams of a life that I could imagine. I didn't understand why the things in my life happened. I never understood why people treated me the way that they did. Its really crazy a few years ago we were asked to do presentations in church. I chose to do Joseph. I read that story and I began to see so much in me. How people did everything to break him but they couldn't. People lied on him. Then when people had counted him out God elevated him( while he was in jail (bondage). I was bound but now God has truly set me free. This is where I am right now. I am noticing God is elevating me to a higher place. I am so thankful.

Going up I had so many nicknames. JT, Horse(ya'll I don't know why), Jay (which was my favorite)and JP just to name a few. JT was the most popular. Family, friends, and enemies all called me that. I wanted to change me name to that for a period of time. I hated when people called me James. Well I didn't really want to be associated with me dad. I had one main reason. I didn't want to be like my father. My father has done some really incredible thing and some really bad things and I wanted no part of that.

Back in 2001 I made a great decision to move to Miami. When I moved there I was 20 years old. I am not really sure why I did this but I wanted it JT to have a spelling. I felt like that was too simple. I am a great person(patting myself on the back-haha). Nah but it really was too simple I am quite complicated. So I changed the spelling to Jayte. But from the moment I stepped food in Miami I was a different person. I can remember it was the first time I had ever seen someone that I could clearly identify as homeless. That was the most eye and mind opening experience. Now today February 20,2010 I realized I am more like Joseph that I ever thought. God show him something and him life changed because of it. My experience was totally different. I was lying in bed a few moments ago and I realized why I could not finish this blog when I first started it. God revealed to me I have changed your name. Just like I changed Abram to Abraham for a person I have changed you to Jayte for a person. I was like in awe. I am sitting here should I be writing this on Sabbath morning. But I realized I am giving God the glory. This is my testimony, proclamation, and prophecy. God I thank for the person you have made me and moreso the person you are making me into.

This is my scripture to ponder over today.
Matthew 22:14 For many are called, but few are chosen.

Fulfilling Destiny

I don't even know where to start. I have so many things on my mind. I wanted to find a way to express myself in a different way. I was fully commited on doing this after Bible Study tonight. Lately God has been speaking so much. The last two bible studies that I went to was about faith and determination. I am so excited about God right now. Phillippians 3:14 was crazy to me tonight. I press.... I wil stop right there. The NIV used the word "strain" I fell in love with this word. It was like music to my ears. I have never felt so encouraged. I think about strain I think about not giving up. I think about how tough live is but you can't give up. Remember God said he would never put more on you than you can bare. So if he is not going to put more on you than you can bare he has already equipped you to make it to the end. So I am encouraged to know that God has my back and anything that I need he has already supplied it for me. I will end with my favorite scripture.

2 Peter 1:3According as his divine power hath given unto us all things that pertain unto life and godliness, through the knowledge of him that hath called us to glory and virtue: